365 Gay

With the Pentagon’s family survey now in the field, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network [1] (SLDN), a national, legal services and policy organization dedicated to ending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT), will release a letter each day this week from family members and spouses of former service members impacted by DADT [2]. As the Pentagon reaches out to 150,000 straight couples on how their lives are impacted, these letters will share the perspective of those forced to serve under this law alongside their loved ones. SLDN [3] is urging supporters of repeal to call, write, and schedule in-district meetings with both their senators as the defense budget, which contains the repeal amendment, moves to the floor just weeks from now. Lynne Kennedy, Capt. Joan Darrah, U.S. Navy (Ret.) General Carter F. Ham Commanding General, U.S. Army Europe Co-Chair, Comprehensive Review Working Group Hon. Jeh C. Johnson General Counsel, U.S. Department of Defense Co-Chair, Comprehensive Review Working Group CC:       U.S. Sen. Carl M. Levin Chairman, Senate Armed Services Committee U.S. Sen. John S. McCain Ranking Member, Senate Armed Services Committee U.S. Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman Member, Senate Armed Services Committee Dear General Ham and Mr. Johnson: In 1990 – while working as a reference librarian at the Library of Congress -- I met Joan Darrah, an active duty Naval Officer.  I already knew about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” but I soon woke up to the harsh reality that loved ones of gay and lesbian family members are forced to serve in silence, too. Over the years, Joan had adjusted to living two lives -- in the closet at work and out after hours. For me, it was a bit of an adjustment as I had been fortunate to work for an employer who valued my skills and expertise and realized that my being a lesbian in no way detracted from my ability to do a great job. I knew that Joan could be deployed at any moment.  She may be away from home for two or three years.  I realized that being with an active duty military officer was even more constricting than I could have possibly imagined and I worried constantly about Joan’s well being.  Yet, through it all, I knew our relationship was worth the compromises.  I knew we had to make it work for Joan to continue to serve our Country. There were so many things that we had to be careful about. For example, Joan had asked that I not call her at work unless it was truly an emergency. When we were out in public if Joan saw someone from work, I learned to “disappear,” until Joan’s co-worker moved on.  We didn’t dare go to nice restaurants on Valentine’s Day or even Saturday nights. We could not show any familiarity while out in public.  I went to parties at colleagues' homes alone lest a guest I didn't know learn that Joan was in the Navy. The events of September 11, 2001, caused us both appreciate more fully the true impact of DADT on our lives and the reality of our mutual sacrifices. At 8:30 a.m. that morning, Joan went to a meeting in the Pentagon.  At 9:30 a.m., she left that meeting.  At 9:37 a.m., the plane flew into the Pentagon and destroyed the exact space that Joan had left less than eight minutes earlier, killing seven of her colleagues. In the days and weeks that followed, Joan went to several funerals and memorial services for her co-workers who had been killed. Most people attended these services with their spouses whose support was critical at this difficult time, yet Joan was forced to go alone, even though I really wanted to be with her to provide support. As the numbness began to wear off, it hit me how incredibly alone I would have been had Joan been killed. The military is known for how it pulls together and helps people; we talk of the "military family," which is a way of saying we always look after each other, especially in times of need.  But, none of that support would have been available for me, because under DADT, I didn’t exist. In fact, I would have been one of the last people to know had Joan been killed, because nowhere in her paperwork or emergency contact information had Joan dared to list my name. Whenever I hear Joan recount the events of that day, I relive it and realize all over again how devastated I would have been had she been killed.   I also think of the partners of service members injured or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.  They are unable to get any support from the military and they must be careful about the amount of support they offer to their closeted service member loved ones. The events of September 11th caused us to stop and reassess exactly what was most important in our lives. During that process, we realized that this discriminatory law was causing us to make a much bigger sacrifice than either of us had ever admitted. Eight months later, in June 2002, Joan retired from the U.S. Navy, and I retired from the Library of Congress.  If it wasn’t for DADT, we might both still be serving in our respective positions. Lynne Kennedy [1] http://www.sldn.org/ [2] http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/114815-dod-to-distribute-dont-ask-dont-tell-surveys-to-spouses [3] http://www.365gay.com www.sldn.org/action

In October 2008, racing against California's gay marriage ban, Chloe and Frankie Frankeny wed legally in San Francisco with one chore already done: Chloe had taken her wife's name two years before. "It was the only way we had to fit into a mainstream role that was understandable to anybody," said Chloe, managing editor of a fashion website. "When I told my father I was taking Frankie's name he was sort of blown away because I definitely consider myself a feminist." With a battle over the state's ban on gay marriage possibly headed to the U.S. Supreme Court, it's likely more same-sex couples will do the same. For the Frankenys, the name switch couldn't magically grant all the marriage benefits denied same-sex couples when compared to one man, one wife, but it was one more way to express their union. It's a symbol rendered even stronger now that legal gay marriages are on hold in California, and for partners who've never had the option. Logistically, a name-change for gay couples isn't always as simple as trotting out a marriage certificate, the proof most required in heterosexual marriage. Emotionally, the journey is about love, commitment - and a way to ease anxiety over being misunderstood as non-relatives in emergencies or considered less-than as parents. Kirsten Palladino, who runs the online gay wedding 'zine Equally Wed [1], shed Ott for the surname of her partner, Maria, last year without benefit of a state-sanctioned union in Georgia. She's seeing more couples go to court for name changes, settling on hyphenation or one partner's surname over the other. [Editor's note: Read Palladino's wedding advice every Wednesday on 365gay.com] "We have grown stronger and are speaking out for ourselves in this way," said Palladino, 32. "There's nothing stopping us from taking each other's names, even if we can't get a marriage certificate." After a five-year courtship, the Palladinos had a wedding at an antebellum mansion in Decatur, Ga. Kirsten became a Palladino after running a newspaper announcement of her intentions once a week for four weeks and appearing before a judge, just as people going through a formal name change for reasons other than marriage must do. "I was nervous. I didn't know how the judge would feel, but he was great. Personally, I had to deal with some identity issues after, but becoming a family unit with my wife trumped anything else for me," she said. College sweethearts Kathryn and Heather Kraft of Newton, Mass., just celebrated 12 years together and have a new baby. They had a church wedding five years ago in white gowns with 10 bridesmaids after obtaining a marriage license under their state's gay marriage law. Whose name did they choose? Kathryn said her Kraft over Heather's Cole "because we're very close to my family and wanted to add to that family in a noticeable way." They had considered combining names into a new one that "represented both of our ancestry, but in the end we're very traditional people." Cole is now a middle name for the entire family, including baby Esther. Making the switch with a legal marriage certificate was no trouble for Heather, until she tried to get a U.S. passport ahead of a trip to Europe. "We were shocked when Heather's application was denied," said her 32-year-old partner, a family therapist. "The passport office would not recognize our marriage certificate as proof and insisted that she had to go in front of a judge to have a court-ordered name change." After six months, she was issued a "known as" passport identifying her by both names. "It's a small thing that isn't noticeable when you look at her passport, but the process was long and an unnecessary reminder that things aren't exactly equal," Kathryn said. Jason and Anthony Cline committed to each other in 2001 during a hotel ceremony in their native Indiana, where gay marriage is outlawed. They thought about heading to a state where their union would be legal but decided not to bother knowing they'd return home to suburban Indianapolis without that recognition. Jason, 33, legally changed his name, going through a newspaper notification process and enduring questions from a judge as Palladino did. "The process seemed cold but it helped prove our relationship to our friends and family that maybe weren't as advanced in their thinking on the topic. It helped solidify our relationship to the people that we knew and to the world," he said. "It starts a conversation. It tells a story." Chloe Frankeny sees other practical outcomes to changing her name, including proof of family status in case of a medical crisis. "With the same last name we could say we were sisters," she said. "We've all heard stories of partners kept apart in emergency rooms. That was a precaution we wanted to take." From nearly 80 percent to 95 percent of heterosexual couples marrying for the first time legally adjust their names as the age of the average bride has risen to about 27 over the last 20 years, according to research. Professional identity before marriage motivates others - in same-sex and hetero couples alike - to keep their original names informally or incorporate them as middle names. Elisa Hebert, 32, wasn't attached to her surname before she traveled with partner Megan from their home outside Denver, Colo., to Rehoboth, Mass., a plus since most of their friends and family are from New England. Back home, Elisa appeared in court to complete her legal name change before a judge managing a roomful of ticked-off parents and their kids hauled in for truancy. "I felt like a 12-year-old who was in trouble," she said. Marni Kahn, a doctoral candidate in sociology in Atlanta, took partner Casey Brown's last name after a marriage ceremony that blended their Jewish and Southern Baptist roots. "It really did tie things up nicely," said Casey, a marketing analyst. Actor and writer Marcos Mateo Ochoa, 29, of Los Angeles chose to hyphenate instead. He goes by Cermak-Ochoa after marrying partner Frank Cermak on Oct. 4, 2008, a union legally recognized in California with 18,000 other same-sex marriages there before voters approved Proposition 8 and ended the practice. He plans to make the name switch legal once the court case is resolved. "We want to identify ourselves as being united, but with California being so flip-floppy on this, it's just a matter of when we go about the process," Ochoa said. "Is this going to be another obstacle, another hurdle for us to go through?" [1] http://www.equallywed.com

Don't blame me for wanting gays dead. It's in the Bible. Uganda's David Bahati [1] gets a profile in the Daily Monitor, and each time the legislator opens his mouth he lies though his lying teeth. The infamous lawmaker, known for sponsoring Uganda's "kill gays" bill,  is presented as a humble family man who just wants to give back to the community. As for his proposed law, he argues it is based in his profound worries about the future for Ugandan children. And heavens no, he doesn't hate gays. As long as they are killed. “It is in Leviticus. Go and read – the penalty for homosexuality is death.” Maybe he and the yahoos over at the Family Research Council [2] can get together and.....Oh, wait a minute. [3] Photos of weddings. Can't look at this Boston Globe [4] photo spread of various gay couples getting married without getting all emotional. Next time your cranky uncle goes on how gay marriage is the ruination // of the country, think of these couples. Especially the ones in tears. [5] Two men. One death. No answers. From all accounts both Defarra Gaymon [6] and Edward Esposito had love and respect from family and peers. Unfortunately Gaymon is dead, shot by Officer Epositio in a sex sting operation at Newark's Branch Brook Park. Esposito's career, up to this point, has been stellar, and Gaymon, married and with children, gave no indications of living a double. And his family wonders even of what the officer says is true, that Gaymon approached him for sex, why was deadly force used? [7] Is a black gay bar being harassed by the police? The owners of Chi Chiz [8], a Christopher Street bar, are fighting city authorities who want it closed. Undercover police allege that in a six month period they have witnessed four occasions of drug sales. Authorities are now asking the bar to promise no drugs will ever be sold, or used, on the premises. The bar's lawyer finds this request onerous. "We can't guarantee that," said attorney Tom Shanahan. "I said to the judge, when the city figures out how to keep drugs off Rikers Island, they can hold us to the same standard. The terms they are insisting on would put us out of business. This is what they wanted all along." [9] Student can't sue school. Jennifer Keeton [10] is a grad student at Augusta University in Georgia. Part of her graduation requirement is to complete a remediation program. As a Christian she announced if  she came across gay clients as a counselor, she would tell them "their behavior is morally wrong and then help the client change that behavior." She's convinced the school imposed the program to silence her religious views.  She sued. The judge told her she had no case. University officials maintain it cares nothing for her opinions. Just want to help her be a better counselor. Good luck with that. [11] Jon Stewart gets it. As Democratic pols run for cover over the Muslim community center debate (morning Howard "Coward" Dean [12]), comedian Jon Stewart [13] breaks through the mess with his standard good humor, with an able assist from  the late Charlton Heston. Anyone crying that a Burlington Coat Factory is "sacred ground" is a bigot with little knowledge about Muslim terror. As reported by the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg [14],  Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the man behind the proposed "Ground Zero mosque", is in the cross hairs of the Islamists. "Remember, Islamists hate the people they consider apostates even more than they hate Christians and Jews. In other words, the man many commentators on the right assert is a terrorist-sympathizer placed himself in mortal peril in order to identify himself with Christians and Jews, and specifically with the most famous Jewish victim [Wall Street reporter Daniel Pearl] of Islamism." [15] Whitman want Prop 8 defended. Meg Whitman [16], in a move to keep her right flank satisfied, announced if she were governor of California defending Prop 8 would be a top priority. "I think the governor of California and the attorney general today have to defend the Constitution and have to enable the judicial process to go along ... and an appeal to go through," Whitman said. "So if I was governor, I would give that ruling standing to be able to appeal to the circuit court." The Republican nominee is not getting any props from conservative peers who remain unconvinced she drinks their brand of Kool Aid. [17] A boxer we all can love. I'll go a few rounds with him. [18] [1] http://www.monitor.co.ug/Magazines/Sunday%20Life/-/689856/993528/-/item/0/-/7jebw8/-/index.html [2] http://www.365gay.com/blog/060410-family-research-council-supports-death/ [3] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/David-Bahati-top.jpg [4] http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/08/same-sex_marriage.html [5] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-gay-wedding-cake-top.jpg [6] http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/nyregion/22newark.html?pagewanted=1&sq=gaymon&st=cse&scp=1 [7] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Gaymon-top.jpg [8] http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/gay_bar_battles_bid_to_close_it_KKKLmKE9jyWvwjlIVuu5rM?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME= [9] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Chi-Chiz-top.jpg [10] http://www.365gay.com/news/judge-ruled-against-anti-gay-counseling-student/ [11] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Jennifer-Keeton-top.jpg [12] http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20014240-503544.html [13] http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-19-2010/extremist-makeover---homeland-edition [14] http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/08/ground-zero-imam-i-am-a-jew-i-have-always-been-one/61761/ [15] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-daily-show-jon-stewart-cast-top.jpg [16] http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/08/20/MNKU1F18TF.DTL&type=gaylesbian [17] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Meg-Whitman-top.jpg [18] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Monday-beefcake-top1.jpg

(Guadalajara, Mexico) Gay rights activists and a group of Roman Catholics in Mexico yelled insults at each other during dueling demonstrations over same-sex marriage. Some 200 gay rights activists waved rainbow flags and held signs reading "Thank God I'm gay" at a plaza next to the cathedral in Guadalajara on Sunday. A similar number of protesters opposed to gay marriage prayed at the cathedral's doors. One of them ripped up a sign held by a gay rights activist, prompting screaming by both sides. It was the second confrontation in two days in Guadalajara, where Cardinal Juan Sandoval Iniguez stirred controversy by suggesting Mexico's Supreme Court was bribed to uphold a Mexico City law allowing adoptions by homosexual couples.

A federal judge ruled that the remediation plan for an anti-gay [1] counseling student was "academically legitimate [2]." Jennifer Keeton, 24, was enrolled in a counseling program at Georgia’s Augusta State University. She said that as a Christian, she does not approve of homosexuality. She also said it would not affect her ability to counsel gay and lesbian students. [caption id="attachment_15785" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="Credit: ADF"] [3][/caption] When the administration got wind of her views however, they offered her a remediation plan to increase her exposure to the gay community. Keeton sued the school on first amendment grounds, arguing that the administration was pressuring her to change her religious views. U.S. District Judge Randal Hall wrote in his decision, "All three professors testified that they never told (Keeton) that she was required to change her religious beliefs in order to stay in the counseling program.” The affidavit in the case said that she would let students know “their behavior is morally wrong and then help the client change that behavior." Hall wrote, "It was not (Keeton's) personal beliefs that were their concern, but rather only her inability to separate her personal beliefs in the judgment-free zone of a professional counseling situation." [1] http://www.365gay.com/news/counseling-student-accuses-school-of-forcing-acceptance-of-homosexuality/ [2] http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/education/2010-08-20/judge-rejects-keeton-lawsuit?v=1282353719 [3] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-jennifer-keeton-top.jpg

Jill and Tracy Harrison were not allowed to enroll their daughter, Olivia, in the St. Vincent’s School in Bedford, TX. In June the Harrisons applied to enroll Olivia in the school. On the application, they crossed out the word “father” and instead indicated that Olivia has two mothers, according to MSNBC [1]. When the mothers attended parents’ night on Tuesday, just a week before the first day of school, they were told that Olivia could not enroll in the school because her mothers were a lesbian couple. "I am horribly disappointed. In fact, we are in the 21st century and we are still dealing with this issue. We should just move on. Denying my daughter education based on who I end up sleeping with at the end of the day makes me furious," said Jill. The school is associated with the Anglican Church, a change since it recently parted its ties with the Episcopal Church. [2] The Episcopal Church is facing a split, as some dioceses are accepting of gays and lesbians, and some are not. The Episcopal Church selected openly gay Gene Robinson [3] to be a bishop in 2003. It is considered the only mainstream church to have ever selected an openly gay bishop who was not celibate. "It's hard to believe that a place that's supposed to take in and teach children about God and the basics of religion would actually discriminate against her because of who we are," said Tracy. We are a church affiliated with the Anglican Church in North America, and it is their policy that we don't provide services to individuals or families that do not behave properly. We're going off our canons that say 'The Anglican Church in North America affirms our Lord's teaching that the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is in its nature a union permanent and lifelong of one man and one woman," said Kenneth Monk, head of the school. The Harrison’s were refunded their application fee and enrolled Olivia in a secular school where same-sex parents are okay. [1] http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38787661 [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-st-vincent-anglican-school-top.jpg [3] http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/277562/icons-gene-robinson.jhtml?id=1595141

The three young women who allegedly attacked Cheyenne Williams for being a lesbian were acquitted this week. Corinne Schwab and Ashley Sams, both 18, and a third girl, whose name was not released because she was 17 at the time of the crime, had been accused of kidnapping and attempted murder [1]. [caption id="attachment_16473" align="aligncenter" width="222" caption="Cheyenne Williams"] [2][/caption] Williams, who identifies as a lesbian, said that the group of girls brought her to a cliff on August 16 where they hit her with sticks, pulled a chain around her neck, and threatened to push her off and crush her head with a rock. The attorney defending the acquitted said that the whole thing was a prank and Williams was a part of it. He said the prank made Williams late for a job interview, so she created a lie that the prank was a hate crime to avoid negative consequences. "She told the story as a way to get out of trouble, and it snowballed," said Sharon K. Allen Gay, the attorney for Sams and the unnamed minor. Williams videotaped the attack on her cell phone, and while the attackers allegedly made comments on the video about homosexuality being an abomination, Williams was recorded laughing. The case closed when the judge determined there was not enough evidence in Williams’ favor. According to the Lexington Herald-Leader [3], Schwab’s attorney James Baechtold asked to charge Williams with perjury. Gay said that while the teens are trying to expunge the charge from their records, they will not be able to escape the negative press they got for the accusations. Williams' mother, Dee Johnson, defended her daughter to the press. She said Williams was not lying about the attack; she is having nightmares about the incident and is in counseling. She said her daughter is considering suing the other teens for the mental anguish she has suffered. "She just can't to this day get over what they done to her," Johnson said. "She's just very disappointed in the court system, and so am I." "It was a hate crime," she said. [1] http://www.365gay.com/news/teen-girls-charged-with-trying-to-kill-lesbian-classmate/ [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-cheyenne-williams-top1.jpg [3] http://www.kentucky.com/2010/08/20/1398956/charges-dismissed-in-alleged-attack.html

• Did She Really Defend Racist Comments? Sarah Palin [1], no stranger to controversy, has taken to her Twitter account to defend Dr. Laura Schlessinger's (who is neither a medical doctor or a psychologist - PHD Physiology) use of the N word. Dr. Laura used the N word 11 times in five minutes in response to a callers question about racism (listen to the audio at Media Matters [2]). Dr. Laura recently announced she would not return to her radio show at the end of her contract due to the controversy of her comments. Palin decided to jump into the fray via Twitter. "Dr.Laura:don't retreat...reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair") and later with ""Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles, so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice, America!" I wonder if Palin listened to the segment before tweeting to the world her defense of racist language. Go ahead America worship this woman. [3] • Equal is equal. On Thursday the Charity Commission [4] in the United Kingdom issued a judgment that a Catholic adoption agency cannot discriminate against same sex couples. The charity, Catholic Care (the last Catholic adoption agency in England), was hoping to use a clause in the law intended to "ensure gay organisations could not be sued for discrimination" to their benefit. The Charity Commission stated that it was a "serious matter" to discriminate based on sexual orientation in its judgment. Catholic Care will, most likely, close it's doors rather than go against the Church. Suffer the children, yet again. [5] • Misinformation for the misinformed. Did you hear the one that President Obama [6] is a Muslim? Well apparently this incorrect belief is growing quickly among many American's. In a new Pew Research Center survey, 20% of American's believe that Obama is a Muslim. "Among those who say Obama is a Muslim, 60 percent say they learned about his religion from the media, suggesting that their opinions are fueled by misinformation. " This raises a couple things for me. I am worried about the rising Islamophobia we are witnessing in this country (NYC Mosque [7] issue, anyone), and the public's increasingly reliance on deliberate misinformation of political opponents as fact. How did this country go from really believing in the Constitution (particularly the 1st Amendment) to selectively applying it? (I know, I know...we have a long history of selectively applying the Constitution). But, come on people, this is getting scary with definite echos of 1930's Germany. Stop already! [8] • I can find better on the Internet. Cosmopolitan magazine has a new app for sale on the iPhone and Android...Sex Position of the Day [9]. For $2.99 you can learn a new position everyday, all year long. With it's "tasteful" drawings of each position, "Erotic Instructions" (so you can maneuver into position) and the "Carnal Challenge" rating to let you know the difficulty, this app has it all. We all know the Android is for porn, but the iPhone has been notorious in its rejection of sexually explicate applications. I guess if you are owned by one of the largest magazine publishers (Hello Hearst Corporation [10]) you get a pass from the iPhone gods. WHO is going to buy a $2.99 app for sex positions when you have the internet and when will the gay version be released??? [11] • Now there is a word for it. I admit, having been a heavy youngster, that I am a bit obsessed with getting my gym workouts in and eating (mostly) right. But, I am NOTHING like the gymorexic [12] guys profiled in Details [13] magazine. Fueled by the desire to be both lean and muscular, these gym junkies are living at the gym to the detriment of work and home lives. They fear that missing one workout will make them weak or fat. It is estimated that 20% of the gym going public has a degree of exercise dependency (me included). It is often hard for gymorexic's to understand that too much time at the gym is potentially harmful as the high they get is the same as snorting cocaine and without it they get mood swings. Living a healthy lifestyle is one thing but these guys are truly a compulsion. [14] [1] http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2010/08/19/2010-08-19_sarah_palin_supports_dr_laura_schlessinger_over_nword_controversy_dont_retreatre.html [2] http://mediamatters.org/blog/201008120045 [3] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-sarah-palin-wink-detail.jpg [4] http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/08/19/Catholic_Adoption_Agency_May_Close_Over_Ruling/ [5] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-moms-holding-babys-hand-detail.jpg [6] http://www.towleroad.com/2010/08/survey-nearly-20-believe-obama-is-a-muslim.html [7] http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/08/18/129277775/ground-zero-mosque-went-from-zero-to-controversy [8] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-president-barak-obama-detail.jpg [9] http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/cosmopolitans-sex-position-day/id342026650?mt=8 [10] http://www.mobilecrunch.com/2010/08/19/cosmo-releases-sex-position-of-the-day-app-for-android-plus-bonus-outrage/ [11] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-cosmo-sex-position-of-the-day-detail.jpg [12] http://www.details.com/style-advice/grooming-and-health/201009/exerciseorexia-male-addiction-gymorexia-gym [13] http://www.details.com/ [14] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-men-running-on-treadmill-detail.jpg

Autumn is just around the corner.  During fall, there is nothing more satisfying then the sound of crisp leaves crunching under your feet—especially if those feet are wearing a fierce pair of new shoes.  Here are four fall shoe trends that are sure to add some pep to your step. 1. Sleek Military [1]. [2] SAVE: Darcyy by Steve Madden $69.95 at stevemadden.com [3] Unlike the overt-the-top military trend of the 1980’s, this fall’s military look is more about sleek functionality and clean lines.  WWII inspired, these kicks can be dressed up or down.  Try throwing them on with a Navy-inspired greatcoat and dark denim for a fresh new take on military chic. [4] SPLURGE: Explorer by Burberry $795 at burberry.com [5] 2. Hues.  [6] SAVE: Janeiro by Steve Madden $59.95 at stevemadden.com [7] It’s a horse of a different color, literally.  Pair a bright colored shoe with any outfit to make it pop.  Muted tones of blue are very popular this year—for men and women. Go for the epitome of fall style and wear them with a velvet blazer [8]. [9] SPLURGE: The Slip Oxford by John Varratos $158 at bluefly.com [10] 3. Western. [11] SAVE: Lounge Enclave by Mark Nason $94 on zappos.com [12] For a modern version of the Wild West, choose a boot with weathered leather (or weathered vegan leather), a sneaker with a bold Southwestern print, or choose a shoe with dapper studs.  The detail will add warmth and flair to any of your fall favorites. [13] SPLURGE: Heath Belted Boot by Frye $328 at zappos.com [14] 4. Basic White. [15] SAVE: White Wall by Kenneth Cole $97 at zappos.com [16] A great white shoe can easily get you from summer to fall without a hitch.  Choose a white that has a hint of dusty pink or warm taupe to combat that it’s-a-nice-day-for-a-white-wedding look.  [17] SPLURGE: Donald J Pliner collection donaldjpliner.com [18]  [1] http://www.fashionising.com/trends/b--Mens-military-fashion-trend-2010-2818.html [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-steve-madden-military.jpg [3] http://www.stevemadden.com/item.aspx?id=51707&DirectSearch=DARCYY [4] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-burberry-boot-military.jpg [5] http://us.burberry.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4070492&cp=3493596.2068774&parentPage=family [6] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-steve-madden-blue.jpg [7] http://www.stevemadden.com/item.aspx?id=51244&DirectSearch=janeiro [8] http://www.fashionising.com/trends/b--mens-velvet-clothing-4505.html [9] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-hue-john-oxford.jpg [10] http://www.bluefly.com/John-Varvatos-dark-cherry-suede-The-Slip-Oxford-shoes/SEARCH/308494401/detail.fly [11] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-nason-western.jpg [12] http://www.zappos.com/lounge-by-mark-nason-enclave-dark-brown [13] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-zappos-western-boot.jpg [14] http://www.zappos.com/frye-heath-belted-harness-lt-tan?zlfid=111 [15] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-kenneth-cole-white.jpg [16] http://www.zappos.com/kenneth-cole-new-york-white-wall-white-nubuck [17] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-white-boot-fall10.jpg [18] http://www.donaldjpliner.com/catalog/Men,13.htm

(Berlin) Germany's justice minister says she is considering changes to income tax laws to iron out disadvantages for gay couples. Sabine Leutheusser-Schnarrenberger told Thursday's edition of the Muenchner Merkur newspaper she thinks homosexual legal partners should be granted income tax breaks similar to those enjoyed by heterosexual married couples. [1] Germany's highest court this week ruled that gay partners are entitled to the same inheritance tax [2] privilege as heterosexual spouses. A decision on income tax rules is pending - a touchy issue as the constitution privileges marriage. Leutheusser-Schnarrenberger says the government shouldn't wait for the court's decision as the direction of its rulings is clear. [1] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-germany-map-top.jpg [2] http://www.365gay.com/news/german-court-rules-for-gay-inheritance-tax-equity/

(London) A Catholic adoption advisory service that refuses to help gay couples cannot win an exemption from anti-discrimination laws, Britain's charity regulator said Thursday. Catholic Care, a charity in Leeds, northern England, had argued that as a religious group it should be allowed to offer adoption-support services only to heterosexuals. It said its funding from the Roman Catholic church was dependent on its policy of helping only married heterosexual couples to adopt. [1] In March, it won a High Court appeal of the original decision in the case, but in a final ruling Britain's Charity Commission said the group's policy was discriminatory and breached European human rights laws. The commission ordered the group to either cease its work to place children with adoptive parents or to abide by equality laws - meaning it would need to consider gay couples as prospective parents. "The charity is very disappointed with the outcome, Catholic Care will now consider whether there is any other way in which the charity can continue to support families seeking to adopt children in need," the group said in a statement. Andrew Hind, Charity Commission chief executive, said that under British equality laws there almost no circumstances in which organizations are allowed to discriminate on the basis of a person's sexuality. "We have concluded that in this case the reasons Catholic Care have set out do not justify their wish to discriminate," Hind said. Other Catholic agencies have either withdrawn from placing children or have cut their ties with the church since the British government imposed anti-discrimination rules in 2007. "The law is carefully weighted to balance the rights of organizations such as religious charities and the rights of minority groups such as those with a particular sexual orientation," Britain's Equality and Human Rights Commission said in a statement. "We believe the outcome in this case helps reinforce that balance." [1] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-brief-lesbian-parents-top.jpg

[1] A week from now Ali Davis [2] and I will be headed to Washington, DC to cover Glenn Beck's"Restoring Honor" [3] rally.  Like most things Beckian, there is much to mock. The declaration the rally is a non-political is disingenuous at best considering the people speaking that day. First there's Sarah Palin [4], whose earned a little press recently for her support of Dr. Laura Schlessinger [5]. Seems like the former Alaska governor sees Dr. Laura as a free speech victim. Then there's Alveda King. The niece of Martin Luther King, Jr. will give the rally its civil rights authority. Who better to bless Beck and his ilk as the standard bearers for civil rights than his niece? While we are on the topic of Ms. King, guess who was a speaker at the National Organization for Marriage's [6] bus stop in Atlanta? Look at her speech and interview afterwards. Needs no commentary. Beck [7] thinks providence led him to pick the same day King delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech. Like most people who take themselves too seriously, the Fox News talker wants us to believe he is the 21st century incarnation of the slain preacher. This is a rhetorical gimmick too many engage in. We all do it, from conservatives to liberals, and it should be given up. Our odes of devotion have little to do with the actual record. Check out what conservatives from Ronald Reagan to Storm Thurmond [8] said when King was murdered. As for liberals, they dropped him when he had the audacity to speak about stuff not race related (ie, the Vietnam War). I'm looking forward to this rally for honor. Rarely meet people who think well of the Beckster, and am curious to find out why some find this weepy grandstander captivating. Oh, we'll disagree on everything under the sun, but who wants to talk only to the choir? [1] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Glenn-Beck-top.jpg [2] http://twitter.com/Ali_Davis [3] http://www.glennbeck.com/828/ [4] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/19/AR2010081906491.html [5] http://www.365gay.com/blog/081910-dr-laura-will-leave-her-radio-show/ [6] http://www.queerty.com/how-alveda-king-is-shaming-the-legacy-of-her-uncle-martin-20100808/ [7] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/16/AR2010081605042.html?hpid=topnews [8] http://www.chrishayes.org/blog/2007/jan/10/conservatives-and-king/

School supplies, new clothes, and carpooling arrangements. It’s Fall and Back-to-School time! (Sighs of relief are ok!) All across the globe parents are facing the new school year, its joys and challenges. And as a gay or lesbian parent it can be overly challenging. Each step of your child’s academic ladder—pre-school, elementary school, middle school, high school—is a “coming out” process for you as well. So, just how “out” should you be at your kid’s school? [1] The answer, like good study habits, starts at home. Your outness at home can greatly influence how out you choose to be at their school. Let’s repeat…how out you CHOOSE to be at their school! It’s the same as how out you choose to be at work and in life. It is your choice and what fits for you and your family. Critics be gone, it’s your decision. However, be prepared; when you least expect it, you will get outed at your kid's school—intentionally or innocently, it will happen. So here are five tips to consider about being an out and proud gay parent at your child’s school. *Talk about it as a family. Regardless of your children’s ages, you need to have a family talk (age appropriate and at a level your child understands) about the uniqueness and make up of your family unit and what “being out” means. Two Dads? Two Moms? Two Dads, a Step-Da, and a Mom? So much diversity can be confusing for a child to explain. So practice some basic questions your child may get asked, and help them learn how to answer those questions—in their own way. *Be ready for your child to out you! Kids are innocent in their approach to life. So don’t be surprised when you and your partner are at Back to School Night little Nathan introduces you to his best friend Billy, as “my Dad and his boyfriend Scott.” BINGO, you’ve just been outed” If this happens, be authentic, take it in stride, and enthusiastically reply, “Hi Billy, nice to meet you,” continuing as if nothing is amiss, even though your stomach may be in knots. Stay true to yourself, your family “out plan” and know this is all part of being a gay parent. *Talk to your ex-spouse (if you have one). Just as important as your family talk, is the discussion with your ex-husband or ex-wife (if you’re from a previous marriage), to get their input on how to approach being out at school.  All of this depends on the relationship you have with the ex, but hopefully you have some level of civility that helps gain their buy-in for your level of outness at school. Taking their perspective into consideration shows respect and could potentially keep you from an appearance in court (remember, any little thing can send you marching back to divorce court). Plus, by creating open communication with your ex you demonstrate to your kids how to communicate in relationships. And if you don’t get their blessing, then simply remember,  you gave them the option to be a part of the solution. *Teacher awareness is critical. Teachers are tough birds (no disregard intended). They have seen it all—broken homes, single parents, adopted and foster children. And even if their own personal views about homosexuality and gay parents are narrow-minded, you owe it to yourself and your kids to be open and authentic with their teacher(s). You wouldn’t hide your child’s Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) for fear that his teacher would treat her differently? Probably not. Why? Because your child’s best interest is priority #1. Clueing your child’s teacher into the diversity of your family is no different. Providing a teacher with the heads up that your child has a gay parent(s), provides insight when she tries to comfort your daughter Julia for breaking down because someone called her family weird. Plus, you open the door for parent/teacher communication and teacher education about gay family life. *Use your gaydar. Your own intuitive gaydar works just as well at your child’s school as it does in the dating world. This doesn’t mean scoping out other gay parents (although that is helpful too…you need allies) at your child’s school. It means letting your gaydar do the sleuthing for you as to whom at the school—teachers, administrators, other parents—are comfortable with you and your unique family. You’ll be surprised at how many people are a) gay-friendly, b) have family members who are gay, and c) just really don’t care that you’re gay! Once you have let the gaydar do its work, then activate your social skills and be an active parent, socialize with your allies at the school, and be a strong example of  "love is love, and family is family.” Rick Clemons is a Perspective Coach, a "coming out" life coach for married men and women. You can find more information about this topic and Rick on his website Life Incognito [2]. You can also find him on the web on Facebook [3] and Twitter [4]. Goodkin [5] is a lifestyle site for non-traditional families. With style, substance, entertainment and aspiration, Goodkin represents today’s modern families however they choose to define themselves. [1] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-students-kids-multi-ethnic-top.jpg [2] http://lifeincognito.com/ [3] http://www.facebook.com/LifeIncognito?ref=ts&v=wall [4] http://twitter.com/gayincognito [5] http://www.wearegoodkin.com/

 (New York) Ricky Martin has picked an appropriate title for his autobiography: "Me." The Puerto Rican singer is set to release his memoir on Nov. 2. It will also be released in Spanish the same day. That edition will be titled "Yo," which is Spanish for "I" and "me." Martin has said that preparing to write the book was one of the reasons he decided to reveal earlier this year that he is gay. Martin said in a statement Thursday that the project led him to extract memories that he had erased from his mind. He says the book was not easy but allowed for an "incredible spiritual journey."

Ross Douthat’s recent New York Times op-ed  [1] against marriage equality is notable for many things, not least its frank rejection of some standard bad arguments against same-sex marriage.  Douthat denies that marriage “has always been defined as the union of one man and one woman” and that the nuclear family “is the universal, time-tested path to forming families and raising children.”  “What we think of as ‘traditional marriage,’” he rightly notes, “is not universal.”  But Douthat’s piece is also notable because he offers a relatively clear version of a less familiar anti-equality argument. Briefly, the argument is that heterosexual relationships differ in important ways from both gay relationships and lesbian relationships, and that stretching marriage to cover all three kinds of pairings (male-female, male-male, female-female) would dilute its purposes.  In Douthat’s words, preserving lifelong heterosexual monogamy as unique and indispensable “ultimately requires some public acknowledgment that heterosexual unions and gay relationships are different: similar in emotional commitment, but distinct both in their challenges and their potential fruit.”  To his credit, Douthat is not simply making the argument that “Straight people are really special and they need a special institution to honor how special they are” (though at times he does seem oblivious to heterosexual privilege, and correspondingly, to the needs and interests of gays and lesbians). Rather, he’s worried about the unique stakes of heterosexual relationships, especially that they make babies. In a follow-up post, he cites the celibate lesbian Catholic writer Eve Tushnet [2]:  “If you have a unisex model of marriage, which is what gay marriage requires, you are no longer able to talk about marriage as regulating heterosexuality and therefore you’re not able to say: Look, there are things that are different about heterosexual and homosexual relationships. There are different dangers, there are different challenges, and, therefore, there are probably going to be different rules.”  It’s the combination of an obvious point with a blatant non-sequitur that makes this argument so specious.  The obvious point is that straight relationships, gay male relationships, and lesbian relationships each have distinct challenges. (They also share many of the same challenges, a fact that Douthat mostly ignores.)  And yes, among the unique challenges of heterosexual relationships is that they create babies. No surprise there.  The non-sequitur is his move from the reasonable premise about distinct challenges for heterosexuals, to the conclusion that extending marriage to gays and lesbians would render it unable to address those heterosexual challenges. Tushnet goes so far as to claim that we would no longer even be able to SAY that there are differences between heterosexual and homosexual relationships, much less maintain marriage in a way that addresses them.  What amazes me about this conclusion is not just its apparent ignorance of gay and lesbian relationships, and the significant ways in which our challenges—of commitment, care, childrearing, intimacy, security, and so on—overlap with those of our heterosexual neighbors.  What really amazes me is its apparent ignorance of the great diversity of HETEROSEXUAL relationships, with their “different dangers… different challenges, and…different rules.”  To take just one example, consider a pair of elderly widowed heterosexuals who marry. Does anyone imagine that their challenges are exactly similar to those of young newlyweds? Does anyone presume that, by treating them as married, we lose the ability to acknowledge that the stakes are different for them (and for society) than they were in the case of their first marriages?  The fact is that we acknowledge a wide variety of relationships as marriages that are nevertheless “distinct both in their challenges and their potential fruit”: some with children, some without; some involving young lovebirds; some involving mature companions; some domestic, some long-distance, and so on.  Gays and lesbians make up a relatively small minority of the population—smaller, certainly, than infertile and elderly heterosexuals. (Douthat notes that infertile and elderly heterosexuals grew up “as heterosexuals”—which is true, but irrelevant to the point that we can acknowledge their “distinct challenges” while still addressing the needs of the fertile.)  In order to make his position plausible, Douthat would need to show that the stakes are so radically different for gays or lesbians that any form of marriage that includes this small minority can no longer do the requisite work for (fertile) heterosexuals.  But at this crucial point Douthat’s argument becomes hopelessly vague. He simply asserts that extending marriage to same-sex couples would weaken its ability to address the thick “interplay of fertility, reproductive impulses and gender differences in heterosexual relationships,” but he never explains why or how this would happen.  This is not an argument: this is a panic.   John Corvino, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays at 365gay.com.  To learn more about John or see clips from his DVD, visit www.johncorvino.com. [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/09/opinion/09douthat.html?_r=1&ref=rossdouthat [2] http://douthat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/12/marriage-in-thick-and-thin/

A recent CNN [1] poll found that 52 percent of Americans support the right to gay marriage, but this trend toward increasing acceptance of gays and lesbians [2] isn’t just limited to the U.S. Worldwide views on gay rights are also shifting. Just two years ago, the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada and South Africa were the only countries to have legalized gay marriage. Massachusetts was the only U.S. state to do so. Since 2008, four U.S. states, Washington D.C., five countries, and Mexico City have all legalized same-sex marriage. [3] "Often courts will make decisions that are predictors of what public opinion is going to be a few years from now," said Brian Powell, an Indiana University sociology professor and co-author of the upcoming book, "Counted Out: Same-Sex Relations and Americans' Definitions of Family." "Public attitudes don't change really quickly, but this is one that's changing really, really quickly," Powell said. The fight for gay rights certainly has not been taken on by all nations; the International Lesbian and Gay Association [4] (ILGA) published a 2010 report saying 76 countries punish people based on sexual orientation. Just this week, the first lady of Uganda warned youth of the dangers of homosexuality. According to Ugandan news site New Vision [5], First Lady Janet Museveni addressed a youth conference and said, "In God's word, homosexuality attracts a curse, but now people are engaging in it and saying they are created that way. It is for money. The devil is stoking fires to destroy our nation and those taking advantage are doing so because our people are poor.” [1] http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2010/images/08/11/rel11a1a.pdf [2] http://www.365gay.com/news/support-for-marriage-equality-accelerating/ [3] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-ilga-map-gay-rights-world-top.jpg [4] http://old.ilga.org/Statehomophobia/ILGA_map_2010_A4.pdf [5] http://allafrica.com/stories/201008101073.html

Thirteen people were arrested during a pro-gay marriage sit-in outside the San Diego County Clerk’s office, reported 10News [1]. Two gay couples went to the clerk’s office for their scheduled appointments to get a marriage license, but when both couples were denied, the protest ensued. [caption id="attachment_16447" align="aligncenter" width="352" caption="Photo credit: Doug Harvey"] [2][/caption] Clerk David Butler said he had to follow the court decision that extended the stay on Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional. Walker stayed his own decision, but said he would lift the stay on August 18. Gay marriages would have once again been permitted in California, but the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals issued an emergency stay, maintaining the state’s ban on same-sex marriage through Dec. California clerks’ offices were ready to issue licenses to same-sex couples on the 18th-they had planned to extend office hours so couples could marry right at 5 p.m., when the stay was scheduled to be lifted. Same-sex couples, like the two in San Diego, who made arrangements to obtain their marriage licenses, were rejected because of the Appeals Court’s decision. At the San Diego sit-in, four protesters were taken into custody for blocking a door in the County Administration Building. The charges for the other nine protesters are unknown. [1] http://www.10news.com/news/24687663/detail.html# [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-san-diego-clerk-protests-facebook-top.jpg

Sharron Angle [1]’s anti-gay agenda and her ties to groups who say AIDS is spread through water systems will set the topic of a call among the Nev. State Democratic Party and local and national LGBT leaders. [2] Angle, who is the GOP Nev. candidate for  Senate, has the backing of the Tea Party and has called for phasing out Social Security and eliminating the EPA and the Energy Department. She said that she would not accept donations from corporations who give same-sex partner benefits. A new Batwoman [3] comic book series is set to debut in November 2010. Batwoman came out [4] as a lesbian in 2006; this is her first solo title. [5] "The element I’m most excited about with our run of Batwoman is the way we’re trying to balance the big action with a more personal story. This has been a challenge because we didn’t want to just have one action-oriented plotline for Batwoman and a separate personal story for Kate Kane — we’ve really tried to weave the two together, and show how one impacts the other,” said W. Haden Blackman, one of the writers of the new series. He added, “The first arc is very much a superhero horror story, but we’re hoping the horror elements are made even scarier because it’s all happening to characters the reader cares about." One plot element that certainly pulled readers’ heartstrings is that Kate Kane, Batwoman’s secret identity, was kicked out of the military under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell [6]. DC Comics will publish an initial "primer" on the Batwoman story. The official introduction of the Batwoman series will release in February 2011. Former S Club 7 [7] singer and now actor Jon Lee, 28, comes out. “If someone had said, 'Are you gay?' I would have said yes, but no one ever did,” Lee said in the interview with the U.K.’s Gay Times [8]. “I’ve never felt the need to leap out of the closet singing and dancing about it. I’ve always known I was gay, from a very young age.” [9] S Club 7 was created by the manager who brought the Spice Girls together. The group was big in the 1990s and early 2000s, selling over 17 million albums. They repeatedly reached number one in British album and single sales. The group disbanded in 2003, and Lee continued on to stage acting. Alexander Skarsgard of True Blood said that he doesn’t want to cover himself with a sock when filming nude scenes [10]. Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin cover themselves with a sock and a patch, respectively, while filming nude scenes for True Blood. Skarsgard said, "I don't want a sock around it; that feels ridiculous. If we’re naked in the scene, then I’m naked. I’ve always been that way." The three actors recently posed nude (except for the blood they were covered in) for the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. [11] [1] http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/18/us/politics/18vegas.html?src=me [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-sharron-angle-top.jpg [3] http://www.365gay.com http://www.afterellen.com/people/2010/8/batwoman-comic-kicks-off-with-a-big-zero [4] http://www.out.com/detail.asp?id=18499 [5] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-batwoman-animals-top.jpg [6] http://gayrights.change.org/blog/view/dont_ask_dont_tell_and_batwoman_collide [7] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S_Club [8] http://www.gaytimes.co.uk/Magazine/InThisIssue-articleid-7179-sectionid-736.html [9] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-john-lee-s-club-7-top.jpg [10] http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/alexander-skarsgard-doesnt-wear-a-sock-during-nude-scenes-2010188 [11] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-rolling-stone-true-blood-nude-top.jpg

[1] [2] "Dr. Laura" Schlessinger [3], who had a radio show for over 30 years, will not renew the show's contract at the end of the year. She made the announcement on the Larry King Show Tuesday night. "I want to regain my first amendment rights (of free speech). I want to be able to say what is on my mind, in my heart, what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry," Schlessinger said. So for 30 years the Doctor had a radio show. No government bureaucrat came in and killed her mike, or sent her to the gallows after something she said. And she's said outlandish stuff. Remember in 2000 when Dr. L.  opined gays and lesbians were "biological errors" [4]? She has nine million listeners per week and not one was ever arrested, or fired from a gig, for tuning his/her dial to her words. Through it all she got paid well (no hate); however, she  now whines how having a radio show abridged her speech rights. Like all "Constitutional scholars" she wants to spout her mind, but doesn't think it's right people respond to her loquacity. Hey Doctor: the beauty of the First Amendment is it covers everyone. From radio show hosts who say nigger 11 times, and bloggers who find such moderators slow and dense. [1] http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=11429962 [2] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/Dr.jpg [3] http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=11429962 [4] http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-dr-laura-20100819,0,7936829.story

(Katmandu, Nepal) A Hindu priest performed the first wedding ceremony in Nepal for a foreign gay couple, a rights group said Wednesday, as activists and tourist agencies increasingly promote the Himalayan nation as a gay-friendly destination. The ceremony was held Tuesday night in Kathmandu for Sanjay Shah, 42, a Briton from Leicester, and an Indian man who did not want to be identified, said Sunil Pant, a member of Nepal's parliament and the nation's most prominent gay activist. Pant's gay rights group, Blue Diamond Society, organized the ceremony and issued the pair a certificate for a $200 fee. The two men were not legally married because Nepal has no laws legalizing same-sex marriage and does not marry foreigners. However, marriages performed by priests are generally accepted by society and most people who live in rural areas do not register their marriages with authorities. Gay rights have improved dramatically in a country where just five years ago police were beating gays and transsexuals in the streets. Now, in addition to having an openly gay parliamentarian, Nepal is issuing "third gender" identity cards and appears set to enshrine gay rights — and possibly even same-sex marriage — in a new constitution. The charter, however, has been delayed because of bickering among political parties that have been unable to choose a new leader since Prime Minister Madhav Kumar Nepal resigned in June. Tuesday's private ceremony was attended by a small number of gay rights activists and members of Pant's group. Pant said there have been a few same-sex wedding ceremonies among Nepalese people, but it was the first for a foreign gay couple. The improvements in gay rights have become a major marketing opportunity in a country where tourism is a main driver of the economy. Government officials hope gay tourists will spend more money than the backpackers who now stay in cheap hotels and travel on shoestring budgets. Pant's group has established Pink Mountain tour company, which caters to gay tourists and promotes Nepal as a safe destination for them. It offers gay honeymooners trekking trips in the Himalayas and has proposed same-sex wedding ceremonies at the Mount Everest base camp.